Many families in global transition make the life-altering choice to relocate borders, often not knowing what to expect. In this new DQ Living column, I share my personal experience as an expat in Saudi Arabia and my favorite mantra to make any new city feel like home.
I nervously dug out a black abaya from my carry-on luggage upon landing in Riyadh the first time. It was the middle of June 2019. The flight from India was full, with only three other women on board.
“If you don’t like it, we can always return”, assured my husband, who had been in Riyadh for a year and had adjusted to the Saudi environment well. Having helped several expat families relocate and adapt to India as a Cultural Intelligence (CQ) Consultant, I thought this move to the Kingdom would be a great way to practice what I preached!
It’s been over three years since that day and the capital city now feels like home.
So, what defines a home? Is it a place, a person, a delicacy, a fragrance, a feeling, or something else? Or is it all of these and more?
Many expat families make the life altering decision to relocate borders. In this process, they not just pack their cartons and suitcases but their entire lives and transport them to a foreign land, often not knowing what to expect.
In my case, home is where I have my circle of friends. All wasn’t easy when I first came to Riyadh. Arriving in the month of June had two major challenges – the peak summer dry heat and the void of new neighbors and friends. Most fellow expat and local families had travelled back to their home countries for a couple months to escape the weather, which left me, a newly arrived ‘supporting spouse’ struggling to find a friend and not knowing my way around the city.
As serendipity and luck would have it, my husband and I met a Mexican couple on a food tour during our European summer break that year. Turned out that they lived only a 15-minute drive from our home in Riyadh!
Eventually, Jessy, my first official friend in Saudi Arabia not only introduced me to her closest friends and helped explore the heritage sites and restaurants in Riyadh but she also opened a colorful window to Latin American cultures. That’s the best part about this city – you meet people from across the world and build a rich international community.
‘People make places’, isn’t it? If you find your tribe in a new city, you can absolutely thrive there!
The lack of a warm welcome and social support can be one of the many challenges upon relocating to a new country. Not knowing what to expect, navigating daily life, finding domestic help, struggling to set a routine, the dependence on cabs or your spouse for driving you around until you get your own license, settling kids into their new schools, that feeling of missing a purpose especially if you’ve left a job behind, the list can go on…
The positive side?
As supporting spouses moving to Saudi Arabia, all of us eventually get our bearings back and figure out myriad ways to navigate life in the Kingdom. Be it following the dress code, buying a humidifier to beat the dry weather, or dodging our way through the infamous Riyadh traffic. In my decade long experience in facilitating intercultural sessions, the ‘Three Cs of Adjustment’ have always been a hit among my participants and helped them reduce the onset of culture stress. More importantly, this mantra helped them make their new city feel like home without going through all the dreadful phases of the adjustment curve.
Comforts
- Carry along or look for a few items from your home country that bring you comfort. Your favorite mug to a lamp, a scarf or even a candle. I recently brought back paintings depicting the old city markets from the city I grew up in and they certainly make me feel closer to my family back in India.
- Deck up your residence in your style. Choosing the wall colors and curtains for instance can bring about a sense of belongingness in the initial weeks of your move.
Calmers
- Listen to your favorite Spotify playlist – I feel a great sense of home when I listen to my Bollywood playlist.
- Continue your meditation and gym routine or pursue that hobby which brings you joy.
Connectors
- Use social media or maintain a blog to pen down your adventures to share with family and friends. Like trying Saudi coffee for the first time, for instance. Journaling is also a great way to check in with yourself on a regular basis.
- Attend networking and cultural events in Riyadh. A great way to stay updated is being active on Instagram and Twitter. Join communities that share a common passion like a book or board game club.
While there are several ways to make a new place feel like home, I’d like to ask my readers: Where is ‘home’ for you? Is it where your heart is or is it where ‘you’ are?
