Nervousness and anxious feelings are normal and expected in children and teens returning to school.
It’s that time of the year again. As summer vacation comes to an end, we find ourselves wandering around isles of bookstores, kids in tow, clutching the new school supply list to find their favorite stationary.
Are your kids excited about a new school year? Are they nervous? In the days leading up to school, your anxious child may cling, cry, have temper tantrums, withdraw, plead, or bargain and become irritable and angry.
Worries are common. Kids can feel pressure to handle all the changes and worry about things like- who will be my new teacher? Will all my friends be in my class? Who will I sit with at lunch? Will the classes be a lot harder? They may still harbor fears of the impact of COVID-19 on family members or themselves.
Here are 5 expert tips to help your kids with back-to-school jitters:
1. Take care of the basics: sleep and diet.
Ensure that your child is getting enough sleep when they go back to school, especially if you are lax about bedtime during the summer. Most kids need about 9 to 9 1/2 hours sleep every night. Start unwinding before kids even climb into bed. The last one hour before bedtime should be relatively quiet and calming which means no exercise, no caffeine, no television, or cell phones. When it comes to diet, kids really need a good breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with or without a couple of snacks. When your child’s mind and body are nourished, tackling school worries is easier.
2. Practice your morning routine.
Go through all the steps of the morning, as well as the timing involved to get to school on time. Help younger kids prep by setting out clothes the night before.
3. Encourage good communication.
To help kids open up to you, remember to first put your phone away. When your kid wants to talk, even if it’s an inconvenient time, practice putting your phone away. It not only helps you give them your full attention, it also fosters good behavior.
Also, maximize your precious time in the car. Experts recommend using your vehicle as a vehicle of communication. Kids may feel it’s safer to talk to mom when she is driving and not stare at you too much. It allows for casual conversation.
Make it a daily habit to debrief. Ask your child about their day, every day with questions like: What was the best/worst part of the day? What was the funniest thing that happened today? You want to keep a pulse on what’s working and what isn’t. Remember sharing goes both ways; be prepared to role model by answering those questions for yourself with your kids. You can explain to them how you handled stressful moments in your own life.
4. Problem solve and focus on the positive aspect.
Once you know what’s bothering your child, you can start to develop a coping plan. Addressing your child’s fear head on, by creating an active plan with concrete solutions, will significantly reduce the worry. For example, “If (the worst) happens, what could you do?” or “Let’s think of some ways you could handle that situation.” This gives you the opportunity to coach your child on how to cope with (and interpret) both real and imagined scary situations.
5. Take extra care for a child with anxiety or depression.
There’s a difference between a child with first day nerves and one dealing with anxiety or depression. If your child has these specific challenges, partner with the school. You want to prep the teachers and care team at the school to know your child is at risk. Experts say “for those who get serious panic attacks, you might teach them to breathe a square. You can imagine a square with four sides and you breathe in two sides and breathe out two sides. And then the sides can go slower and slower.”
And remember, it’s important to take pride in your child’s growth and development. Just like when we see a child learning to walk towards the beckoning parent, and in the exact moment the child proves that they don’t need that parent to take those first steps.
So in the same way, enjoy your child’s latest milestone as they step into the classroom – as a parent, take pride.
Dr. Salma Siddiqua earned her MBBS from Batterjee Medical College for Sciences and Technology in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. She is currently working as a pediatrician in the Ministry of Health Hospitals in Riyadh. She has particular interests in Research and Pediatric Cardiology. She is also a mental health advocate.
